Buttigieg: Commies bad. Gay capitalists good. Gay capitalist Christians even better! And hey, have you read about my cool socks, er um, I mean my cool gay socks?

Sanders: I’m seriously considering relocating to Cuba. I mean, this country is f*ckin nuts. Their rivers are clean, they have universal healthcare, and, dammit, the Canadians have been going down there for years. And some of them have timeshares there!

Klobuchar: I have a timeshare in Cuba.

Warren: I’m a big Christian. Really Big Christian. And did I mention that I REALLY love capitalism?

Bloomberg: I’m just Trump without the orange clown makeup. Seriously, you know it. I know it. We all know it. But I will tell you this: I can buy and sell each and everyone of you in a New York, er um, American minute.

Oh and Judge Judy thinks I’m hot.

Steyer: Look at me, dammit!