There are so many loathsome creatures flopping about in the Washington cesspit. But one of the most repulsive is Lindsey Graham. He practically had an orgasm on Air Force One when Trump rambled on about his imperialistic ambitions in Venezuela, Greenland, Cuba and beyond.

Aunt Pittypat, or should I say Auntie Lindsey, doesn’t have much self-respect. Even as he licks the dictators musty boots, Trump continues to put him down. As recently as January 5th, he insulted Graham to his face in front of the press, saying: “I don’t consider him very exciting to talk to.”

Through the years, Trump hasn’t held back how he really feels about the southern belle from South Carolina. In 2016, he said Graham was “one of the dumbest human beings I’ve ever seen” and a “nut job.” He has also said he was a “lightweight” and an “idiot.”

But when it comes to Trump’s Hitlerian ambitions, Graham can’t seem to stop gushing. Apparently, public humiliation from fascist dictators and imperialist wet dreams are his kink. But with all this excitement, he may need a fainting couch and smelling salts at some point.

Kenn Maurice Orfanos, January 2026